I love sento. Not just the bath part but I also like to go into a sauna as well, followed by the cold plunging, duh. I recently started to go on my own as a weekly ritual. I discover neighborhood sento’s and see which ones I like the most. I’m seeing a Tokyo I’m not familiar with and I feel entranced by the experience. I used to go to them sometimes, when my friend Yurino would invite me to go with her. I would never go alone, especially in the city. I have a nice shower and a bath at home, it just never crossed my mind to go outside of my house to pay money and take a bath. But I get it. I get why it’s becoming a popular fun activity between young people and even a hobby to some. I get why it’s a spiritual, or even a blissful ritual across generations. It’s also a place of obscureness, something that always made me laughーlike both Japaneseness and none of it exits at the same place.
Sento as we know is a public bath house and the first one built in Edo (now Tokyo ) was in 1591. After WW2, houses didn’t have their own baths so they would go to the public bath house for a bath, which naturally turned into a communal space. It’s so funny because it still is a communal space for the many older generation. The first one I went to alone, it was in Sancha, a neighborhood that has a lot of drinking allies and bars that’s been in business for years. It’s now a hub for both young and old. The sento is called “Koma-no-yu”. I looked at some of the google reviews in advance to see if they have…you know… weird rules. You see, sento’s are the mecca for rules. Japan is already a place with a strict set of rules and sento is definitely one of those places that is heavily coded with lots of it. I’m not just talking about the etiquette of bathing, like this one or this one(omg these are all so stressful, I’m so proud of you all who tried to learn these.) but I’m talking about local rules of the sento itself.
For the first one I was going to, there was a common comment that said, “just be careful to not get on the regular’s bad side. They always seem to have a thing or two to say.” or “I heard the regular’s here are a little nosy, but nothing happened to me!” When we say regulars, it’s the Obachan’s. The Ajumma’s if that’s more familiar to you. I was weary, but I secured a little corner of my own and didn’t make a peep and no one said anything to me that day I went. It was packed with Obachan’s but I managed to be invisible…or at least not cause any ‘problems.’ I think it’s safe to say that I nailed the first round of Obachan’s test.
If I have to guess, I think there was a little quarrel between the Obachan’s before. When I went into the sauna, there was a huge sign, hand written saying something along the lines of “〜Good sweats only〜” I wish I was joking! but I’m not. It also said that “there are no local rules here, please respect each other’s space and enjoy the sauna.” or something like that. I presume that some ‘nosy’ obachan wanted to start making her own little rules but sadly, her reign didn’t last for long.
Most women come in alone to sento’s. On weekends, I saw some families with their younger children, some people will come in with their friends but especially with the older generation, it seems like there’s an unknown rule between them; if you go into the sento at a certain time, you might see someone you know. Lone behold, they do! I see a woman greeting someone in the dressing room with their backs so lowered down from bowing, I can’t even see their faces, or sometimes they notice each other when they are in the bath at the same time. It can happen when one is in the bath relaxing, and another is walking past stripped naked and they will recognize each other. They will always say hi or exchange very minimal pleasantries like “It suddenly got so cold!” and their voices echo while the young ones are silent.
It’s inherently funny when I see women walking into the sauna with their nipples completely hard… nipps straight up towards the wall they walk into. They could have came in from a cold place… or they could be excited by many women watching them at once. No one would ever know with these cases. There are also women who sit with their crotch completely open, as if they also want the heat of the sauna to enter their vagina too. For many Japanese women, the sauna becomes suddenly a room for freedom of expression. It’s like none of the Japanese courtesies matters in there, which I find freeing.
While I learn each sauna’s handbook of rules, I also feel a wave of nostalgia coming at me whenever I go to one. I was so surprised to see, even in the middle of the city, grandparents or mothers will take their child to a sento on the weekend and wash each other’s backs. I thought that that was only a inaka(countryside) thing. I remember that my obachan who lived in Nagano used to take me to a sento she always went to every week. I actually hated it as a kid, because I didn’t like hot water baths as a child and my mom didn’t either so she wouldn’t come with me. I had to spend 30 minutes or more with my obachan, while my face turned tomato red. When she washed my back, my parents told me beforehand that it’s customary to wash her back in return as well. I didn’t like to do things like that, but I did because I always did what my parents told me to do. Probably as a kid, the only reason I went to a sento that I didn’t even like was the yellow soda drink I could drink after called Match. Oh it was a delightful treat for a 5 year old and they allowed me to have it then, and now too without judgment.
I love to see that these city sento’s are still a sacred communal space for many, and a generational mingle station. I also adore to see that it’s a peaceful moment for women alone coming in after a long day of work in the office. I often find Japanese women so different from me, and trust me, when naked, I see it even more. But at the sento, it feels like we are cut out of the same cloth, and there’s really no difference here. Our stories may be different but we are here for the same reasons; just a bunch of naked women, wanting to decompress, relax and get a damn nama-beer after.
Other Stuff
Each week, I give you some extra things you can read/listen/watch that I consumed and thought was interesting. Here is this week’s edition! If you like this portion of the newsletter, I do a whole section dedicated for it once every month called #juststuff where you can read all the archive here. Enjoy.
Books
I wrote a book round up on my Instagram, but it tells me that no one cares so much. lol Maybe it’s more so a Substack thing!
I knew that this was a lot of people’s favorite book last year, but I get it. Gosh, to create a woman who is so hated and so…just unlikeable at age 27… I would love to read her second novel, Babel too now. Following Yellowface, this book club by shameless was a good listen.
This I started to read because of
review on it. I read it in Japanese but she is spot on. The body image other people become so invasive, or even obsessive towards you, or even the female friendship was interesting for me to see unravel in both the West and in Japan.
Reads
on the topic of sauna! this
Bric-a-Brac 62 has a whole installment of sauna and it’s so fun to look at the ones in Sweden, Finland or Norway.The Age Gappers They say they’re happy. Why is it so hard to believe them? A couple months ago, this was making the rounds but my my! What an thoughtfully investigated piece!
HOW ITALY CHANGED MY BODY IMAGE As an Italian lover, I love reading Italy Segreta.
I already posted this on my Instagram because I couldn’t contain my excitement!!! but there’s a new stand-up show on Netflix that people are talking about by Jacqueline Novak and it’s brilliant!!! This interview, by The Interview (sigh) with Natasha Lyonne is pretty funny!
- did an interview with our favorite beauty industry writer and the whole interview was really good, made me really rethink my position on this platform.
Listen
on substack,
first pod episode was such a motivational listen that I started to jump back into my *daily* journaling again. Can your diary be a bestseller? with Amy LiptrotThe Disciples by The World of Secrets produced by BBC
This insane series on a cult, people flying from all over the country to Lagos, Nigeria to be a part of this church thinking that they will be saved from their despair. Only to find that they were in hell, for some, a decade in a compound. It’s so well done.
I loved this conversation with the author of Demon Copperhead, Barbara Kingsolver. Her sort of mission, or task for this novel was to become a bridge between the Appalachian people (herself) and the rest of the world, and I’m only curious to know more about what this division is all about. I really don’t know anything about America.
Watch
Tokyo-ga (1985)
I watched Tokyo-ga, by Wim Wenders which was filmed in 1985 in Tokyo, documenting Tokyo after being influenced by the late Ozu Yasujiro. I may or may not have unlocked what this glorification of Japaneseness is amongst foreigners. In his words, “It feels like ‘Sleep walking’ through Tokyo.” I think it’s exactly this. Foreigners idea of Tokyo is sort of in a still, sleep walking dreamy state, while the rest of us who live here, have a completely different experience with the Tokyo life. I’m still playing around with this idea, but I think I’m not too far off.
Perfect days (2023)
I went to go watch this in the cinema, but I urge you to go while it’s still airing! No Japanese comprehension needed, well mostly. I loved reading the reviews on this afterwards, how any metaphor or meaning can be meant something entirely different from what I thought. This Japanese interview with Mieko Kawakami was the best one. She says and I will summarize, “ーthe movie is perfect description of Japan. A country that has stopped growing, but yet it is surely and slowly decaying into an old place. Just like Hirayamaーyou see how a middle aged man reacts child like when a girl kisses him on the cheek, but you also see that he is evidently getting old as well; forgetting the buildings that was around him, his ‘old’ man body.”
Get on your knees by Jacqueline Novak
just the preview should be enough for you to watch this 90 minute brilliant stand up ? but almost philosophical show on blowjobs!!! If you are someone giving or getting blowjobs at the moment, I urge you just have a lick, or a peak I guess. (sorry!)
Thank you for reading this week’s love or not to love :) I appreciate you as always, and you can follow me on Instagram megsgumis for some more fun and yum content. As always Bisous x Megumi