Storytelling and what not
Some great reading on black and white language, critical thinking on post election, and A really shitty Amazon T shirt etc.
3 stuff this week ;
by
, this amazing post on black and white language overtaking GenZers and this tiktok in her post was a good watch on how we lightly use therapy phrases to just ‘get away’ with things.I’ve watched All of us strangers by Andrew Haigh and it was so so beautiful. Did you know that the house they used is actually the directors old childhood home?
By the Ezra Klein show, post election this episode was very good to think rationally and not having the moral panics. The democrats to be content and curious about the next steps is a food for thought.
Extra bit!
mom’s brownies! A HIT!
I’ve been thinking about storytelling: the knack of it, the craft of it all. I think I’m rather great at telling stories to be honest and I do in fact love telling them too. I recently watched the Apple TV show starring Cate Blanchett, Disclaimer. I really liked the storyline while critics thought otherwise. It’s about people telling each other’s stories and the facts start slipping away. It’s an exploration of many things ; who believes in the real story, who has the autonomy to tell the story, and most importantly, a woman’s story being misconstrued and mistold by someone else. By the way, while most people love Blanchett in Tar, I really think her performance in the mini series Mrs America (2020) was one of her best ever - I highly recommend it if anyone hasn't watched it.
I saw a screenshot of a scene from Fleabag - ‘his neck’ scene. It had a caption that said “we write to taste life twice.” I knew that it wasn’t originally from a fleabag quote but some writer probably wrote over it. Who knows why that quote was slapped on that specific scene, but it is a poignant scene on storytelling I think. Perception matters in storytelling I think. It all depends on who’s telling the story and who’s reading and/or watching the story. Something that means one thing to someone, can mean something entirely different to another person.
Stories are highly personal and in some cases, it can be deeply invasive.
The invasiveness that comes with telling other people’s stories, badly might I add, I can think of the true crime podcasts and that whole fandom arena. When people dressed up as Jeffrey Dahmer for halloween on the year the Netflix show came out about him(like this Amazon Tshirt should just not be a thing), many people were concerned. Surely, people should know that these are real people, whose families are still alive and suffering from the case - no one should be glamorizing it. But yet, true crime podcasts that tell other people’s horrific stories is one of the most popular genres in podcasting. My favorite podcast genre is celebrity gossip entertainment - and that’s also prying on other people’s stories. It is morally a good thing while they profit off of it as well? Probably not.
It can be a tricky one. On the one hand, simply telling the wrong story does exist and telling it badly also, but on the other hand, remembering it differently can also happen as time passes as well. I find that very human and strangely interpersonal.
I don’t reminisce about it per se, but when there is a time to look back at past relationships with men and how I felt like I’ve been mistreated or hurt by them, I always ask myself I wonder if he remembers it the same way? The short and simple answer to this is, they never do. The story is never told the same way even when you were in it together at the same time and place. I recently spoke with a friend about her ex and how it ended badly. I know the guy too so it was mind boggling to know that he reacted in such a visceral reaction of hate towards her. From her side of the story, she has done nothing wrong - in fact even if she had done something wrong, doing what he’s done to her probably won’t justify his acts. He then apparently is going around telling the wrong story. He’s telling people how she became crazy. I don’t want to digress too much, but I’m sure when it comes to telling the wrong story and twisting each others words between a heterosexual relationship, gender plays a big role in it.
I’ve quoted this before here too but when I watched the film Aftersun directed and written by Charlotte Wells, I came across this video essay by Will Clempter. The film is loosely based off of the director's relationship with her own father who died when she was 16. Clempter mentions that “The director uses memory as a storytelling device” She’s playing with fragmented memories and remembering things the way she wants to when in reality, it wasn’t like that at all or maybe it was but it was a version of it. Clempter also makes a delicious point that “memory is inherently personal.” It’s inevitable that we sort of want to remember things differently than what actually happened. I think it’s a part of the process of storing memories. It’s all very easily malleable : the feeling, the senses, the scenery. It’s not a tangible thing, it just exists in our minds. It actually feels very black mirror-esque if we all start remembering things and computing the experiences the same way. If everyone starts loving ginnan (ginkgo nuts) all over the world - it’s not a delicacy anymore.
I think for people who are reading this, the act of writing or even documenting things that happened is a way to remember how you felt at that time and place. Once documented, you can suddenly look at it objectively. What was so personal to you at that time, even emotional perhaps, feels like you can look at it by stepping back a bit as an audience member. I don’t do it so much now, but I used to journal heavily back in the day, and it’s a strange feeling to observe my thoughts and process then and now. In some pages, I don’t recognize her. In some pages, I feel horrified for her. In some pages, I feel so much compassion for her that I wish I had for myself back then. Speaking on stuff objectively is the easy way - but when you are in the thick of it, that’s where the story exists and it’s most painful and joyful at the same time.
This is an entry I wrote when I decided what I wanted to get as my first tattoo: It’s cringe worthy but that’s also the point. lol
*Just for some context, I have a broken heart tattoo on my side.
September 5th, 2021
Some guy I went on a date once told me I should get a tattoo that’s not about a feeling but a fact because a fact won’t ever change. ー The fact is that my heart has been ripped open and broken by many men and I’m going to live with that fact but it’s not going to define who I am. I will find someone who will make it whole. So my second one is already decided and it’s just a simple ♡ (heart) It will be great if that’s somebody who can “fix it” but my deep secret, “dream” is, that person is not going to be a man but it will be me. ー You are whole with who you are. I aspire to be that person one day. It gives me purpose to fill that ♡(heart) on my body one day. I’ll sleep on this idea but I think I’ll just do it.
Why do we write stories? Why do we read other writers' stories? Why do we care? Why do we keep doing it? Why do you? Would love to exchange more stories like this x
Thank you for the shout out! I love All of Us Strangers!